if i could pick a superpower i’d pick being perceived as perfect to everyone no matter what was perfect to you, that is the way i’d appear in looks and personality my life would be so easy
Anonymous asked: I think I'm falling in love with you.
wvnderbar: i bet sperm is natures diet secret and if you don’t believe me just look at all the skinny gay guys and fat lesbians
kevigoo asked: 3 holmes
i went to the grocery store because there’s no food and i looked around for like 45 minutes and i got three kinds of tea but i couldn’t find a single thing in the entire store that i wanted to eat then i hung out with myself all afternoon i listened to two door cinema club which i should stop doing in public because my body is always like “DANCE TO THIS” but i’m...
i was showing my mom TLRs and she was pretty impressed with the photo quality so i think she might let me get one c:
cockstreetboys: if sex with three people is called a threesome and sex with two people is called a twosome then i know why everyone calls you handsome
i keep getting bored of things halfway through them what do i do
so guys did you know i was never angsty until i met bret wolfe and lost my virginity and starting reading literature i always thought the expression “losing one’s virginity” was so comical. LOST VIRGINITY Have you seen my virginity? Last seen with a innocent and frightfully optimistic young woman. Answers to “Surprise!” If found please return to owner promptly....
i was so much more optimistic as a child….i wonder when that stopped?
apparently when i was 13 i wanted a kitten named tucarroty
my hormones are engaged in a battle of the wills right now irish or french? according to stereotypes that are printed on the pamphlets supplied to me regularly by my hormones: all irish men are endearingly folky and mumford & sons-esque. most are gingers. they are notorious impromptu hand-holders and flower gatherers. they are all attractive and speak with irish brogues that are literally...
grumble grumble grumble
Also, eating ramen noodles every day doesn’t make you an edgy starving...– oh
the dragon is sleeping
soooooooooooo to ramen or not to ramen that is the question
i ate some ramen and maybe i put too much cumin in...
why do people submit tattoos to fuck yeah tattoos that are the same as other tattoos that have already been submitted a lot and why do the angry ladies at fuck yeah tattoos post them like do we really need to see every deathly hallows tattoo anyone ever got? i can see how one owl tattoo would look different from another, but your infinity sign or ampersand looks exactly the same as the last...
Draco: Nice scar. Where did you get it?
Harry: Thanks. Voldemort gave it to me back in the 80's.
Draco: Vintage. So adorable.
Harry: Thanks. *walks away*
Draco: That is the ugliest effing scar I've ever seen.
playing dress-up games because i don’t have a job bet it’ll look real good on my resume
stridershead: you have fun watching the Olympics while I stop kony